BIAnh Laura Flashman

Brain injury association
Laura Flashman BIANH President wrote an article that caught my thoughts and struggles in life, so if I use some of her words or lines it is not plagiarism. Brain injury is not a new problem but it could be said to be one of the hardest to recognize or understand. Ignorant or dumb is a classification given to people suffering from a Brain Injury for after awhile the damage is forgotten and the disabled seems normal except appears stupid. Increased irritability and lowered frustration tolerance is a weapon friends, neighbors and even strangers use when talking to others of the reason no one will associate with you leaving out the facts of the damage causing the personality problems. Many people with Brain Injury become function able but forget things at times and remember what they forgot at other times. My brain injury comes from just out of Parris Island boot camp a car accident. Losing my complete memory of life never to return the Marine Corps by admin error sent me off to active duty instead of a medical discharge. I did thirty-one months in and out of combat retaining the exact time, place and event when my qualifications as a US Marine were felt with in me. The horrific act of social injustice that I inflicted on others made me feel proud that since coming back to the world from the Vietnam Conflict non-military serving citizens have innocently pushed guilt to replace the pride: freedom and safety in the USA required. I broke my back during one Vietnam offensive and during another Vietnam Offensive lost most of my hearing in both ears from being blown off a runway. PTSD, which some VA doctors like to call seizures makes me remember events that during the normal day most of them I have no memory of. The struggle of life trying to fit with other citizens with out making a stupid remark of quick defensive action is offensive to some. Trying to sit with my back to a wall or loud noises out of sequence causing an unexpected response makes others question motives. My beautiful wife has tolerated my indifference over the years and deserves a metal for that. She also becomes frustrated and mad at me for my not having compassion or feeling for others as I can forget a situation while it is happening and make dumb comments with out knowing.
The newspapers telling the public the danger that I am and the NH government refusing to speak with me of government wrongs is kept silent by news media censorship. It is not just I though. Many, many US Military men and women returning go through every day events in this letter unable to talk about them. My ability to write gives me an out lit only to be kept silent by a society that despises what we did but praises and thanks us for doing it. Mixed messages and Con-dam-nation give victory to the silent demons growing in our heads and this society that has never been there just does not get it.
Laura’s article made me think and know that we cannot make people that have never been there understand and must accept silence as our government dictates us to do.
Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi
465 Packers falls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217